The Blacker The Berry
by WritingInPurple
Summary: They ended up in Charming after a terrible incident that almost resulted in one of their deaths. Hazel and Michaela made a pact after that to stay away from bikers at all costs, but couldn't avoid the Sons Of Anarchy or their troubled pasts forever. Would the girls be safe in Charming? AU story told from OC Hazel's perspective. Rated T for now.
1. Prologue

A/N: I do not own the characters recognized from Sons of Anarchy. Kurt Sutter - genius extraordinaire created them and they belong to him.

Enjoy! - WIP

**The Blacker The Berry**

by: Writing In Purple

**Prologue**

I ran out of the house in a white tank top and black leggings figuring I'd have time to change into jeans and a work tank before my shift at the bar started at 5 o'clock. I jumped in my ride, turned the key and NOTHING happened. It was the third time that month my car was dead and I couldn't even begin to think what was wrong with it. As I got out of the car and locked it I thought about calling my roommate Michaela for a ride but remembered that she was working in the ER so she wouldn't be able to leave to pick me up. I couldn't afford to waste any more time so I threw my bag over my shoulder and, thanking God I had gym shoes on, I started jogging the mile or so to my job.

By the time I flew through the door of the Dirty Bird I was only about 5 minutes late. Nevertheless I was late and Candy the day manager, also my boss, had me in her cross hairs immediately.

"What the hell! You're late again! How do you know I didn't have somewhere to go? I am so tired of you not giving a shit about anyone else that works here! I'm calling Kenny." She walked around the bar to get the phone but a customer interrupted her asking for another drink. I was glad because I was still catching my breath.

"Candy, come on. This time I had no control over it. I left a half hour early and my car was dead. I had to run here! I'm sorry, I really am." I put my arms over my head until my breathing evened out.

"Whatever, I'm so tired of this! I won't call Kenny this time because I have a date tonight and I don't want to have to work all day AND all night. If this happens again I promise you, you're gone!" She smiled when she said the last part and my stomach turned. She really hated me.

"Thank you Candy. Again, I'm so sorry." Another customer came up to the bar to order another drink and I was suddenly aware of how many people were actually in the bar with us. Embarrassed, I turned and walked through the swinging door into the back where my change of clothes was waiting in the break room.

...

About 5 minutes later I had changed into a pair of jeans and a black tank top that said Dirty with a white bird under it. I checked the little window in the door to see if Candy was sufficiently occupied. I saw her talking to one of the guys in the local motorcycle club that she had a thing for. I figured she wouldn't miss me so I grabbed my cigarettes and crept quietly out the back door to the alley. I sat on my usual crate and took a deep breath to calm myself. I didn't want to start my shift all anxious and worked up. Just after I lit my cigarette I heard footsteps coming around the corner. Thinking it was Candy coming to bust me for taking an "unauthorized break" I was about to flick my smoke when I saw a familiar face.

"I figured I'd find you back here." He put his hands in his pocket and rocked back on his heels.

"If you're going to ask me out again you know what the answer is, it's always the same." I took a drag of my cigarette, trying my best not to stare.

"No, it's not that this time. I heard you tellin' your boss your car died. Did it really? Or were you just sayin' that?" He shuffled his feet a little and leaned on the wall next to me.

"Yeah, the third time this month! Piece of shit. Why?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Well, I'm a mechanic." He gave me a look as if to say "duh".

"And?" I took another drag of my cigarette and made smoke Os.

"Here" He handed me a card that said Teller-Morrow Automotive & Motorcycle Repair. "Call the office and tell them where to pick up your car. I'll work on it personally, if you're nicer to me." He shot me a huge grin and I had to look at the ground to keep myself from swooning.

"I know a guy that does the work for half of what you guys charge at TM. Plus, I'm not letting you do me any favors. God knows what you'll ask for in return you perv. Thanks though." I winked and got up to go back inside.

"Come on, I'm not trying to hit on you by offering you auto service Hazel. I'm just being nice. Can't a guy just be nice to a girl and not want something in return?" He looked so good in his tight white t-shirt and dark grey Dickies I was having a hard time staying focused on rejecting him.

"Not in my world! Men always want something from women it's in your DNA. Whether it's now or later you all want something out of the deal…" I bit down on my entire bottom lip to distract myself from what I was feeling just looking at him. "I gotta get in there before Candy realizes I'm not just in the back changing and freaks out." I opened the door and smiled at him.

"Just call Gemma in the office and tell her your address, you don't have to do anything else. I promise I'll make sure it's not a penny over what that other guy would charge you." He was damn cute and I felt my resolve waning.

"Thanks, but no thanks. It was a really good try Juice. I'll see you around." I winked at him again and went inside. When the door closed I stood against the wall just inside it and tried to even out my breathing. It was getting really difficult to hold my ground. I wasn't sure how many more times I could say no. Despite my hard and fast rule of only dating and hanging out with non-bikers I found myself undeniably attracted to a very sexy one that wouldn't stop asking me out.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: I own nothing you recognize, all credit for existing SOA characters goes to Kurt Sutter.

Enjoy! - WIP

**The Blacker The Berry**

by: Writing In Purple

**Chapter 1**

I was standing out in front of the bar smoking around 2 a.m. when there wasn't a soul in the place. Every night around then it was completely quiet and I used the time to think before I closed down the bar. I thought about how fun it would be to pay yet again to have my car fixed. I thought about how good it would be to go home and take a bath. I thought about maybe going to Vegas with Michaela for the weekend if I could convince Candy to give me the days off. I thought about what I was doing with my life which at the moment was nothing. I thought about not wanting to walk home alone at 3 a.m. even though Charming, CA wasn't all that dangerous at night. Finally, I let myself think about the conversation I had earlier with Juice. I thought about how good he looked and tried to shake the image from my memory. I put my head against the wall I was leaning on and tried to take my mind off him. My eyes were still closed when I heard the unmistakable rumble of a Harley engine. The noise got louder as it got closer but didn't get softer and when I opened my eyes I saw Juice backing his bike up to the curb 6 feet away from me. I shook my head and flicked the cigarette into the street where it landed right next to Juice's foot.

"What are you doing here?" I asked when he finally cut the engine and I put my hands on my hips.

"You didn't think I was going to let you walk home alone this late, did you?" He asked and got off his bike which was almost as good-looking as he was.

"Are you serious? It's not your job to LET me do anything! You can get back on that little bike and go back where you came from." I gave him a little wave and turned around, knowing well enough that he was behind me when I walked back into the bar.

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant I didn't want you walking home alone at this time a night. Why you gotta give me such a hard time?" He took a seat at the bar in front of where I usually stood behind it.

"I'm still a little confused about why you think anything I do has anything to do with you. While you explain it to me, get to work." I threw him a wet rag and nodded my head towards the tables around the bar.

"Huh?" He followed my eyes behind him and looked blankly at the tables.

"You're here, you might as well do something useful instead of just standing there looking 16 kinds of sexy…" I felt my face get hot with embarrassment and my eyes went wide.

"Excuse me, what was that?' His eyebrows knit together in confusion and he just stared at me.

"Oh dear Lord nothing! Those tables aren't going to clean themselves! Get!" I waved him away with my left hand and slapped my right hand over my mouth when he turned his back to me.

"So, busy night tonight?" I was standing at the bar with my hand still over my mouth when he bent to put a chair up on the table he just finished wiping down.

"Lord help me." I whispered to myself and then said… "Not really. It was pretty slow, at least it seemed so. I was a little distracted so I was kind of on auto-pilot."

"I guess that's good. If you've got stuff on your mind it's good to keep busy." He finished putting the chairs on the table and moved to the next one. I just nodded and walked around the bar to do the same thing.

When we finished it was just after 3 a.m. and I . I wasn't in the mood to argue so when Juice insisted on giving me a ride home I accepted and said nothing else. It had been years since I'd ridden on a motorcycle let alone on the back behind a strong and muscular man. When I wrapped my arms around him and he took off from the curb I nearly passed out. The mix of his cologne, the vibrations of the Harley and the wind against me face were almost too much. I took a deep breath and flashed back to the last time I rode a motorcycle. For a moment I could have been back there in that same situation, everything was so similar. But this time I wasn't in Phoenix and I wasn't with Frankie and I wasn't going to end up in the hospital at the end of this night. I shook the memory away and rested my head between Juice's shoulder blades. I could have fallen asleep there it was so comfortable, too comfortable. Before I knew it we were in front of the house I shared with Michaela. A brief thought entered my mind and then it was gone. How does he know where I live?

"Should I ask how you know or just leave it alone?" I got off his bike in the driveway and looked at him with my hands on my hips and my head cocked to the side.

"You can ask but I doubt I'll tell you." He got off the bike and I handed him his helmet which he rested on the handle bar.

"It's probably best that way." I turned around and walked a few feet before I realized he wasn't following me. "You comin'?" I raised an eyebrow and he just stood there.

"Uh… I… um... inside?" He asked with a confused look on his face.

"Well I can't very well make you something to eat out here, can I? I mean it's the least I can do, to repay you for the ride home, right?" I gestured for him to follow me and he did. Albeit confused, he followed.

…

I woke up on the couch in the living room. I was flat on my stomach with my hair in my face and my right arm hanging off the side off the couch. I opened one eye to look around when I felt my right arm draped over a hard chest that was slowly moving up and down. I gently and cautiously tried to remove my arm from over Juice's shoulder when he grabbed my wrist in his sleep. He was sleeping sitting up with his back against the couch. I laughed quietly when I saw the PlayStation controller in his left hand and sucked my teeth when I noticed he still held my wrist with his right. I was trying to figure out how to get out of his grip without waking him up when his phone broke the silence. His eyes popped open and he looked around, remembering where he was.

"It's right there, on the floor next to your leg." I was counting on him freeing my wrist to pick up the phone. Instead he just grabbed it with the other hand and gave me a sideways glance. "Yeah."

"I can't move." I said and he held a finger to his lips.

"Alright. I got a few things to do but I'll be there. Uh huh… No. Yep. Bye." He hung up the phone and placed it gently on the table next to him.

"So… if you wouldn't mind letting go of my wrist…" I rolled my eyes when he slightly moved his head to show that he would not let me go.

"Juice." I tried being serious but couldn't help the giggle that escaped when he turned his head and brushed his mouth and nose on the inside of my arm.

"I like the way my name sounds when you say it." He closed his eyes and brushed his mustache up and down my arm.

"Juice!" I half laughed half squealed and tried to pull away.

"Hmmm… I might like that better." He smiled but it only lasted a second before we both heard the screen door creak open.

"Greaaat." I rolled my eyes when he let go of my arm and got up off the floor. "What time is it anyway?" I turned over on the couch and sat up.

"It's 10:15. Why, you gotta be somewhere?" He cocked an eyebrow at me, his head tilted a little to the side.

"If I did?" I asked him while I stood up and stretched.

"Yeah I know, it's none of my business." He half smiled and shook his head.

"Riiight." The dead bolt turned over and the front door opened slowly. "Don't worry, we're awake. We are also clothed. Thank you." I waved when I saw Michaela's head gingerly peek past the door.

"Aw man! We thought you guys would at least still be in bed!" She waltzed into the room and pulled Chibs in with her. They both looked like they hadn't slept much.

"We were never in bed. So chase that thought right out of your head!" I gave her a wide-eyed look and she stuck her tongue out at me.

"I see, so you just fooled around here in the living room?" She gave me a wicked smile and my face flushed.

"Oh my God shut up! You know what I meant!" My eyes widened which didn't seem possible. I was all of a sudden hyper aware of the fact that I probably looked like Medusa.

"Is her head 'bout to start spinnin'?" Chibs asked from behind Michaela. "Let's get outta here 'fore that happens." He grabbed her around the waist and walked her down the hall to her room.

"I have to get in the shower." Was all I could think to say and my voice sounded too loud. "I have a half shift at the diner at noon." I scraped my long brown curls into a pony-tail with the hair tie I spotted on the coffee table.

"You have two jobs?" The look on his face was respect mixed with worry.

"I help at the diner sometimes when I need extra cash. I need a lot of extra cash now because my car decided to die again." I played with a curl in my pony tail and tried to figure out how to say goodbye without being rude.

"If you need a ride just call me, ok?" He looked good just waking up with a little stubble on his chin, his head too.

"I can handle the couple of blocks to the diner, but thanks." I caught myself staring at him and him staring at me with a satisfied look on his face. "Shit."

"I'll see you later." It wasn't a question.

"If you're lucky." I smiled and moved to walk toward the door.

"If I have anything to say about it we'll both be pretty lucky next time." He caught my hand as I passed him and pulled me toward him.

"You…" I was going to say that he was too sure of himself and the fact that eventually he'd get me to fall for him. I was going to protest but before I knew it I was flat up against him. I was speechless.

"You'll catch on soon I think, but this is happening whether you like it or not." He touched his lips to mine for just a few seconds. He laughed when he heard my sharp intake of breath.

"Juice…" I couldn't think of anything else to say. If I was being honest I couldn't think of anything else period.

"It doesn't sound as good when anyone else says it." He kissed me on the cheek and walked straight out the door before I was even half way recovered.

"Shit." I blinked and stared at the door until I felt like I wouldn't fall on my face if I tried to walk. "Shit."

.

A/N: I will post the next chapter after I get to 9 reviews!


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N**: O/Cs Hazel & Michaela belong to me, all other Sons of Anarchy characters belong to Kurt Sutter creator of the wonderful show!

Sorry it took so long, read, review, comment, ENJOY! - WIP

**The Blacker The Berry**

****by Writing In Purple

**Chapter 2**

It was a good thing I was looking or I would have missed it. I took a break from reading my book and glanced out the window just in time to see a Teller-Morrow tow truck drive by with my car hooked up to the back of it. I wasn't mad really just annoyed that certain people in my life couldn't leave well enough alone. I'm sure Chibs and Michaela had something to do with giving the necessary information and permission to pick up my car. I would deal with them later. At the moment, I had a bone to pick with Juice. I grabbed the phone and dialed the number on the wall for the garage.

"Teller-Morrow." A woman with a confident voice that I assumed was Gemma answered.

"Um, yeah can I speak to Juice please?" I knew he wouldn't be back yet but I'd leave a message with her.

"He got called out for a tow, he'll back soon. Can I tell him who called?" I wasn't going to give any more information than necessary because I didn't want too many other people in my business.

"Tell him I saw him drive by just now and he's in deep shit. Thank you." I hung up before she said anything, I didn't want to explain.

An hour passed by before I felt like I knew what I would say to Juice when he called back. I had it all planned out and I felt really good about it. The traffic in the diner picked up again around 3 so I was too busy to worry about much else. I was working on a pretty good mad when I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked to my left while ringing up a customer and saw Juice sitting at the counter on the stool closest to the door. My speech went straight out the window when I gave him an angry look and he smiled so big it wrinkled the corners of his eyes. I felt my frustration fade. I handed the customer his change and told him to have a good day. I cleared the counter and ignored Juice until I couldn't pretend anymore. I scooted over a little so I was standing right in front of him and tried not to smile.

"You look awful proud of yourself. How do you know I'm not mad at you?" I smiled a little.

"I can just tell. Plus, it's pretty much impossible to be mad at this face." He pointed to himself and smiled again.

"Oh my goodness, stop it. Didn't I say I had the car thing under control? I don't know why you felt the need to car-nap it to get your point across." I put some ice in a glass and turned around to put Root Beer in it from the fountain.

"I'd say it worked though, wouldn't you?" He half smiled and took a sip of his root beer.

"I don't know what to do with this. Are you trying to tell me something?" I crossed my arms on my chest and leaned back on the counter behind me.

"Yep. I have a plan. I'm gonna make you fall in love with me." He winked.

"You are exhausting." I shook my head and when I looked up I noticed a customer trying to get my attention.

"Hey, Hazel can we get our check… please?" One of my favorite customers, Tristan, asked from his usual table.

"Sure Trist, I'll be over." I put my index finger up indicating to Juice that I'd be just a minute. "Don't go anywhere."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He said when he picked up a menu and began looking at it.

"So, you guys having a good summer?" I smiled and asked the table of 5 teenage boys.

"It's been alright for these guys, they don't have to work! It must be nice." Travis was Tristan's older brother and a bit more rough around the edges.

"Well, Trav that's what you get for being a grown ass man. We all gotta work, plus it's good for your character." I put the check on the table.

"Um Hazel, you forgot to charge us for like half the stuff we ordered…" Travis reminded me.

"Consider it a graduation gift. You need to save your money for all the fun you're going to have in college." I winked at him and laughed to myself when all the other boys practically fainted from shock.

"Geeze Hazel, you didn't have to do that. I can pay. I want to pay. I don't want this coming out of your check…" He talked fast, trying to convince me that I didn't have to do him a favor.

"I won't come out of my check." I pointed to Juice. "I'll just over charge him and it'll come out even." I laughed out loud and Travis looked a little scared of Juice.

"Ok, I guess. Thanks Hazel, you didn't have to do that." He stood up and followed me to the cash register. The other boys at the table whispered between themselves while they walked to the door.

"Trav, just make sure you get really good grades, ok? Make your mom proud." I knew Travis and Tristan's mom but only knew a few things about their dad. One of those things being that he was in Stockton for trying to kill their mother.

"I will. I'll make you proud too Hazel, don't worry." I rang him up and gave him his change. The whole time Juice stared at me.

"You boys have a good day. Stay out of trouble!" I raised my eyebrows at Tristan's best friend Calvin. He was the trouble maker.

"We will, Hazel." They all said almost in unison.

"Thanks again Hazel. You're awesome." Travis said and was the last one out the door.

"Bye guys!" I waved when Travis turned around to smile at me.

"That kid is totally in love with you." Juice teased.

"He's a baby. He just graduated high school and got a partial scholarship to UCLA. He's really smart." I shook my head and looked away when a somber thought popped into my head.

"What?" His voice sounded concerned.

"Nothing just thinking about what I was doing at that age. What I felt like, where I was, where I was going." I bit the inside of my cheek so I wouldn't start crying about the hurtful things that made up my memories of that time.

"Hey… are you ok? You look… sad." Two lines appeared between his eyebrows when I turned my head and looked at him again.

"I'm fine. That was just a really rough time." I thought about what that time had done to me, the walls it forced me to put up.

"You wanna talk about it?" He smiled sweetly and tilted his head to the side.

"Not particularly. You planning on ordering something or are you just going to stare at the menu for the last ½ hour of my shift and pretend like you're not waiting to give me a ride home?" I shook my head and took a grey bin from under the counter.

"I can never seem to make up my mind." Juice gave me a shy smile and looked over at me.

"Yeah like you ever have trouble deciding what you want." I tucked the bin snug on my hip and walked over to the tables that needed busing.

"Ha Ha." He moved to get up and help me.

"I got it." I held a hand up and he sat back down. "It won't take me long and the faster I do it and clean up, the faster we can get out of here." I quickly got busy clearing the two tables that needed it and ignored the urge to look behind me every few seconds when I felt Juice's eyes on me.

…

After a long shift at the Dirty the night before and then a half shift at the diner I would usually have gone home to crash out for a few hours before it was time to go out and do something fun with Michaela. However, since I had acquired a new muscular tan skinned shadow everything was different. I wasn't sure what to do with myself so I took a quick shower to calm down. I took my time drying my hair and choosing something to wear that looked good but was also pretty comfortable. When I came out of my room after only about 30 minutes, I noticed that Juice made himself at home with the PlayStation and leftovers from our midnight snack the night before.

"Well, look at you. Got everything you need?" I folded myself upon the couch behind where Juice sat on the floor.

"Got everything but you, baby." He turned around, winked at me and smiled.

"Honestly…" I didn't know what else to say so I just picked up a magazine and hid my huge smile with it.

"Hey, why are you hidin' from me?" My makeshift screen only worked for a second because he grabbed it out of my hands and I was left just sitting there staring at him.

"I'm not hiding. I just don't know what to say. I never do when you say weird shit like that." I shrugged my shoulders and started biting a fingernail.

"I don't think it's weird. You acting all hot and cold, letting me get kinda close and then pulling away. Now that's weird." He turned back around and took a bite of one of the sliders I made last night.

"I don't think I could explain it to you well enough so you'd understand. It's nothing to do with you though, it's my shit." I cracked my neck and put my hand to my temple. A headache was trying to creep in due to lack of sleep.

"Maybe you could start to explain and we can go from there?" He put his half empty plate on the table next to him and slowly got up off the floor.

"I guess. But only because I've finally come to terms with the fact that you're never going to leave me alone." I gave him a weak smile and scooted over on the couch so he could sit down. "That damned smile doesn't hurt your case either." I touched a finger to the cheek closest to me when he grinned.

"So, it's my pretty face and hot body that's got you finally giving me a chance is it?" He laughed at himself and kicked his boots off. He put his feet on the coffee table and his arm on the back of the couch where his hand slightly brushed my shoulder.

"Lord… Do you want a beer? I'm getting one for myself." I stood up from the couch before I melted from the heat I felt from the mere tickle of his fingertip on my skin.

"Yeah, a beer would be great." He picked up the television remote and amused himself while I got the beers and did deep breathing exercises in the kitchen.

"So, do you really want to hear this or is it just some strategy to get in my pants?" I opened his beer and handed it to him.

"I… um… What?" The look on his face was priceless and told me everything I needed to know.

"Juice relax, I was just testing you to see if you'd tell me what you thought I'd want to hear. You did not so you passed." I opened my beer, took a long swing and set in down on the table. I sat down again but this time I sat about 6 inches closer to him than I was sitting been before with my legs tucked underneath me.

"Well there you go again, actin' weird. I don't know what to do with you woman." He sipped his beer and shook his head. He waited for me to start talking again.

"I can think of a few things you could do with me, but I'm sure we'll get to that in due time." I laughed when Juice's eyes bugged out and he nearly choked on the sip of beer he was in the middle of taking. "What did you think you were the only one that could put the sexual innuendos out there?"

"Jesus…" He just stared at me with a confused and amused look on his face.

"Whatever. Anyway, do you remember the first time we met?" I bent my head to the side to rest it on the back of the couch but instead I felt the warmth of his skin on my cheek.

"Oh yeah. When you told Michaela that there was no way you were staying in a town infested with foul mouthed, wife beating, leather wearing bikers? I do remember that." He scrunched up his face as if the memory had a bitter taste to it.

"I guess you do. We had been driving for days. We were looking for a place to settle down, stop running. A place that was different from where we left to begin with. We left Phoenix because I had been with a guy that was less that good to me. He was in an MC." I closed my eyes and painful memories came to the surface. My reaction to the memories surprised me, I was sure I'd successfully pushed any feelings deep enough that they wouldn't come back.

"What happened?" The edge that came into Juice's voice wasn't something I'd heard out of him before but it didn't surprise me at all.

"At first things were good. He was a prospect when we met and things were pretty smooth for that first year. Once he got patched…" I stopped talking and remembered the first time he slapped me across the face for asking where he'd been until 4 in the morning. "He gave me this." My fingers went up to the inch long scar below my right eye. I didn't speak for almost a full minute.

"How." Juice spoke and brought me out of a sort of trance.

"It's not important." I was about to keep going when I saw a flash of anger in his eyes that made me shrink back from him. I instantly felt terrible.

"Shit. I'm sorry." He slowly put the hand that was resting on the back of the couch on my right cheek and I leaned into him. "Tell me."

"It was only a few months before the worst time, the last time. He beat me within inches of my life because I wore a tank top to the grocery store." Even though I smiled I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks at the memory of waking up in the hospital. "I didn't press charges." I didn't want to tell him why. That was a different story for a different time.

"How long ago was that?" He asked and brushed the curls away from my face.

"3 years ago. We've left a dozen places because he's found us. I won't let Michaela call home for help, if we did we'd never have to leave another home again." My breath hitched when I saw another flash of anger in his eyes but only felt safe.

"Come here." Juice put his other hand out and I sat on his lap with my head on his shoulder.

"He took something from me that I don't know if I will ever get back. Michaela is the only person I trust and while I really like you and think you're hotter than is legal…" I trailed off when he kissed my forehead.

"I'm not asking for anything but a chance to be better to you than he was. Do you think you can give me that?" I felt his head tilt to look down at me.

"Yes." I lifted my head off his shoulder and searched his eyes for a sign of anything but the truth.

"Good. That's all I need for now." He pressed his forehead to mine.

A/N: Working on chapter 3 RIGHT NOW!


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N:** All characters you recognize belong to Kurt Sutter, creator of Sons of Anarchy. OC Hazel & OC Michaela are mine.

Enjoy! - WIP

**The Blacker The Berry**

By: Writing In Purple

**Chapter 3**

I touched my rapidly swelling lip with my tongue and tasted fresh blood. The metallic tang wasn't something I'd ever get used to but it didn't make me gag anymore. After the first few times I could tolerate it. Nothing pissed him off more than when I reacted unfavorably to getting beat up. When I was little I couldn't understand why my mother didn't cry when daddy knocked her around but now it made some sense. She didn't want to make it any worse. While I sat on the bed listening to him rage and hoping that he was finished I thought of how strong she had to have been to endure that while raising 5 children. Images of my family flashed through my mind, my mother and my brothers, daddy. When things escalated like this my thoughts always went to the safest place I ever knew. I didn't leave home because it wasn't safe, I left because I didn't want to lose myself like my mother did. It took way too long for me to realize that it was happening anyway.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" He crashed through the door with beer number 6, that I knew of, in his hand.

"I'm just taking a breather. Are you ready to eat? I'll fix you a plate." I tried to sound pleasant.

"Dinner's not ready yet?" Spit flew from his mouth and he reeked of booze.

"It's ready I just have to make you a plate. I told you that when you got home." I closed my eyes and bit down on my bottom lip when I realized how I sounded.

"Watch your tone, bitch!" All I felt was the cold metal of his huge skull ring against my cheek and everything went black.

...

"Hazel wake up! Hazel!" Juice's panicked voice called me out of the darkness.

"Juice?" I was drenched in sweat with my hair stuck to my face. "Dammit..." My face was hot and tears still fell from my eyes.

"I think you were having a nightmare…" I could have killed the dream itself for the fear I saw on his face.

"It's ok. I'm ok." I put my hand on his cheek to reassure him.

"Are you sure?" His eyes searched my face for some answers.

"I'm fine Juice, I'm just gonna go get some water. Do you want anything?" I swung my feet onto the floor and waited for a second.

"I'm good. You want me to go with you?" He asked with a sheepish look on his face.

"No, I think I'll be ok in the kitchen. But thanks." I smiled and I could see the tension ease from his shoulders. "Go back to sleep, I'll be back in a little bit."

"Ok. I'll be in here if you need me." He winked then laughed when I stuck my tongue out at him.

I walked down the hall and checked Michaela's room to see if she was home. Her door was open and the room was dark, no sign of her there. It was becoming kind of the norm that she was gone more than she was home. She and Chibs were getting serious pretty fast. I was happy for her because she had given up a lot to run around the western half of the country with me. I figured I'd give her a call since it was only around midnight. I got my phone from the living room table, sat down and dialed her cell phone.

"What's wrong?" She asked a little breathlessly.

"Um, hey… am I interrupting anything?" I shook my head and smiled. With those two I was always interrupting something.

"No, what's wrong?" She always wanted me to cut to the chase.

"I had a nightmare. Juice kind of slept over again and I just woke up screaming." I took a few deep breaths to try and calm myself.

"Wait, was it A nightmare or THE nightmare?" I heard an alarming amount of concern jump into her voice.

"It was one of THE nightmares. I don't know why I call them nightmares, it happened. It's like an instant replay, a sick instant replay." I pulled my knees to my chest and curled into the couch.

"Do you think it's because you've finally let your guard down with Juice? You haven't really had a guy in your life since Frankie. You've never ever let a guy sleep over." She was right.

"I guess it could be that. He's stirring up all kinds of feelings that I forgot I could feel. It's as if I've been walking around in a bubble for the last few days and it just got popped." I got up and walked back towards my room. I stood just outside my bedroom door and listened to Juice quietly snoring.

"We're not going to let Frankie's dumb ass ruin this for you. Let's meet at the diner for coffee around 10 and we'll talk through this for real. Ok?" She sounded hopeful.

"Yes, that's good. I could use some one on one Michaela time. Hey, I heard there's some kind of party going on at the clubhouse tomorrow, well tonight I guess." I let out a short laugh and Juice stirred in his sleep.

"Yeah, are you thinking about coming?" The excitement in her voice was not hidden at all.

"Maybe... It seems like Juice really wants me to go. But, we can talk about that later, I'll see you in a few hours!" We said our good byes and hung up.

The second I got back into bed Juice rolled over and put his arm around me. He pulled me close to him and I was comforted by his strength and warmth. I hated myself for it but I found myself thinking about how different this was from how things were with Frankie. Being the last relationship I'd had I thought about that a lot in contrast to my current situation. Juice and Frankie were completely different in almost every way and that was good. But they were the same in one way and that way was huge. I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with the MC being such a large part of Juice's life. I wasn't trying to get into all that again. I let out a big sigh and felt Juice pull me closer still. It didn't seem like I could get any closer to him but apparently he felt that I wasn't close enough.

…

I was in the kitchen putting some eggs in a pan and turning some bacon when I finally heard Juice making noise down the hall. He'd slept significantly longer than I had and I spent at least an hour with nothing to do after I woke up just waiting for him to do the same. I was meeting Michaela at 10 so I had enough time to make Juice some breakfast and then get ready. I wasn't going to eat, I never usually ate breakfast and I was meeting Michaela at the diner so maybe I would eat there if I got hungry. I popped a few pieces of toast in the toaster when I heard footsteps coming down the hall.

"Something smells good." Juice came up behind me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Just a little breakfast. Thought you'd be hungry since it seems all you do is eat when you come over here." I laughed and grabbed a coffee mug and a plate from the cabinet. "Sit."

"Yes ma'am." He sat down at the table.

"Coffee?" I asked with the mug and coffee pot in my hand.

"Yes please." He smiled. "You should probably not do stuff like this. I might get used to it and then I'll never leave you alone."

"Ha! Like the chance of you leaving me alone was ever an option." I poured him some coffee and turned around to check on his food.

"I guess you've got a point." He sipped his coffee and watched me as I moved around the kitchen. "What you got planned for today?"

"Not too much, it's my day off so I'm gonna meet Michaela at the diner around 10. I was gonna ask her to give me a lift to get some groceries and some other things I need for the house." I don't know why I was acting like he wouldn't offer to take me to do whatever it was I needed to do since he still had my car at the shop.

"Whenever you're done at the diner, just give me a call. I'll take you where you need to go. I'm still waiting on a part for your car." He eyed the bacon on the plate as I put it on the table.

"Don't you have other cars to work on over there at TM?" I put a heap of eggs and some toast on a plate and placed it in front of him.

"I guess, but I'm usually needed in other areas." He answered vaguely with a smile and eyed the fork in my hand.

"Right…" I gave him the fork and watched him dig in.

"Damn baby, you can cook!" He said with his mouthful.

"Try to slow down before you choke. I'm going to shower and get ready to meet Michaela." I gave him a little wave but he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his side.

"You're not gonna eat?" His hand rested respectfully on my hip and he looked up at me.

"Nah, I don't usually eat breakfast." I tried to pull away but he kept a firm hold on me and I rested my arm on his shoulder.

"Don't tell me you're one of those chicks that won't eat in front of a dude she likes!" He shook his head.

"Not even close. I love to eat and I don't care who knows it, I ate in front of you the other night remember? I'm just not usually hungry in the morning." I pulled on his earlobe and smiled at him. "Can I go now?" The closeness wasn't something I wasn't used to yet.

"Yeah, yeah. Go on." He let me go and swatted me on the ass when I turned around. "Thanks for breakfast babe."

"Welcome." I said over my shoulder and went to my room.

…

I gracefully got off the back of Juice's bike and handed him his helmet. After the first time on his bike the whole thing seemed like second nature again and I secretly wanted to ride with him all the time. I told him I could walk to the diner but he'd insisted on giving me a ride. I saw Michaela sitting in our booth by the window and waved when she smiled and raised her eyebrows at us. She was going to have a ton of things to say about me letting Juice spend the night and letting him take me places while my car was in the shop. I wanted to talk to her about where her relationship with Chibs was going but I'm sure she'd try to make the conversation all about this new thing with me and Juice.

"Have fun doing whatever is it you guys are gonna do here." Juice looked around me and gave Michaela a little wave.

"We're gonna talk about you, obviously." I winked at him.

"Good then. I'll see ya later." He straightened his bike and inclined his head.

"Yeah, see ya." I took a step towards him, kissed him on the cheek and turned to walk into the diner.

"You two look pretty cozy." Michaela said when I sat down across from her in the booth that had recently become our regular one.

"When life gives you lemons…" I laughed and she did too.

"It's been awhile since I've heard you laugh like that you know?" She shook her head but smiled.

"It's been awhile since I've let myself do anything like this, it feels weird." I picked up the menu in front of me as if it wasn't completely committed to memory already. "What are you getting? I think I might want a milkshake."

"It's not even noon." She looked at her menu while I debated between a milkshake and French fries.

"So, how's Chibs? You guys are getting pretty hot and heavy these days." I made my decision and put my menu down.

"Well, you know… It's cool." She blushed instantly and I knew she was way more into it than she had ever let on to me.

"Oh my God, you love him!" I yelped and then slapped my hand over my mouth.

"Geeze Hazel! Yell it to the whole world why don't you?!" Her smile hit her ears and I knew she was totally gone, our pact out the window.

"So, is it official yet? Are you his giiirlfrieeend?" I giggled like I was in high school and she did too.

"I don't know, we haven't really talked about it. How about you guys? Have you and Juice talked about what this is?" I knew she wouldn't let it be about her for long.

"Not really. We're in the kissing and playing video games stage of whatever this is." I used my hand to call Maggie, the usual waitress, over so we could order.

"You haven't defined the relationship yet?" Michaela was big on defining relationships, I was not. I was good with the mystery and novelty of it all.

"Hell no! If we have that conversation the word girlfriend will get thrown around and you know how I feel about that." I shook my head but smiled when Maggie approached the table. "Hey Maggie, what's up?"

"Hey Hazel, how you doin'? Hi Michaela." Maggie's parents owned the diner. She worked there on the weekends and before classes, so sometimes we worked together.

"We're doin' alright, just here for some girl talk. I'll be having scrambled eggs, bacon and toast, and a refill on this coffee please." Michaela had an appetite now that she wasn't sleeping much and only working and hanging out with Chibs.

"Dang… I'll have an order of fries and a coffee. Thanks Maggie!" I smiled. She took our menus without writing our orders down but I knew she'd have it all right.

"If you were just gonna eat that you could've come home for breakfast, that's exactly what I made Juice." I bit my lip a little to keep from smiling too big. I was kind of happy with where things were at the moment.

"Breakfast? Kissing? Sleeping over?! No wonder you had that nightmare!" She threw her hands up in the air and gave an exacerbated sigh.

"Whatever. You wanna go smoke?" I took my cigarettes out of my purse and slid out of the booth. "It's looking to me like it's that time in the conversation."

"Yeah, let's do that." She grabbed her cigs and followed me out of the diner.

"I can't keep running away from things Chael, I'll end up alone." I lit my cigarette and took a long drag.

"You'll always have me Haze, but I know what you mean." She held her smoke between her lips and waited for me to light it.

"You and I will always be family, but you're eventually gonna be Chibs' ol' lady and I'll have to find a roommate." I saw something cross her face but couldn't make out what it was.

"What about the pact?" She examined her cigarette between her fingers and wouldn't look at me.

"The pact went out the window when we decided to stay here. I mean how were we going to stay away from bikers at all costs in a town run by a motorcycle club? It was an unrealistic goal." I nudged her with my shoulder to let her know it was ok.

"Hazel, I think I love him." She smiled with tears in her eyes and I knew she did.

"I know you do. It's ok too, you know?" I took her hand in mine and we finished our cigarettes in a comfortable silence.

When we finally walked back inside our food was waiting for us and the conversation had turned to the party at the clubhouse that evening. I wasn't too thrilled about going but Michaela was making a good case for why I should. Juice had only mentioned it once but it had been with enthusiasm. He didn't know why I didn't want to go near the clubhouse and Michaela really thought I should tell him. I wasn't happy with the pace at which things were going but it looked like I didn't have a choice, I was just going to have to hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

"Don't you think it should be something I ease into? You know what showing up to the clubhouse with a member means! I don't think I'm ready to make that kind of statement right now. Maybe not ever." I dipped a french fry in ketchup and popped it into my mouth.

"I think you're making too big a deal out of it. Just come with me and see what happens. I'm in already, no one's gonna question you if you're with me." Michaela was proud of the headway she'd made with the ladies of SAMCRO since she'd been with Chibs. It was a hard circle to break into but she'd done it.

"If I come with you I'll have to act like I don't even know Juice and that won't work either." I refilled my coffee cup and added some cream and sugar before taking a sip.

"No way, everyone knows Juice has had his eye on you for months! Just act like you came with me and seeing him is a bonus. It'll be fine. No pressure and a good party to boot!" She was working hard to make this seem like a good idea, I had to give her that.

"I don't know how you do it. Do you remember what it was like growing up in with dad's in a club? I mean, I don't know how you could have forgotten!" I picked up two fries and ate them, shaking my head at the memories.

"I remember. It's different, you'll see. None of that stuff will matter when you're seeing it as an adult. You weren't a part of it when you were with Frankie, Haze it's not like it used to be. Well, it's not all like it used to be." I could see that I was just going to have to give it a chance. I hoped I wouldn't be sorry.

"Alright, fine. I'll go. But, I swear Michaela at the first hint of trouble I'm outta there!" I pointed my finger at her to get my point across. "I'm serious."

"I know you are." She laughed anyway.

"Ugh! How did things get this backwards?! We were supposed to stay away from all this shit!" I continued to inhale fries. I ate when I was stressed out.

"Charming." She shook her head and ate the rest of her food.

"Damn this town!" We both laughed and when Maggie came over we asked for some more coffee.

"You think I'll be received well at the clubhouse? I'm not what their used to, I imagine." I didn't know what to expect and I was a little concerned.

"You'll be fine. I'm sure they'll love you. Your knowledge of the life will serve you well like it did me." She winked at me and gave me a sly smile.

"I can't believe we're even talking about this! Juice is messing all sorts of stuff up, how am I even letting him do this? He hasn't even gotten in my pants and he's making me crazy!" My hand flew to my mouth as soon as I uttered the last word.

"Wait… WHAT?!" Michaela looked at me in complete shock.

"What?" I said from behind my hand.

"You haven't had sex with him? But you've slept with him? How does that work?" She was acting like I had made a vow of chastity.

"I'm just kind of putting it off a little. I don't want to get all wrapped up in that possessive girlfriend/boyfriend bullshit so it's easier if there's no sex yet. What?" I asked when her eyes got wide. "What?!"

"I hope you're not planning on holding out on him long. You know what these guys are like Haze…" I did know what bikers were like and I was hoping Juice was little different.

"I do know what they're like. Isn't that why I didn't want to give him a chance in the first place? Wasn't that why I thought Frankie was such a catch? Because he wasn't like the other bikers we knew…" I brushed my hands through my hair and tied it in a ponytail.

"Yeah but Haze, but that was totally different." She put her hands up in front of her in a defensive gesture.

"It was. How? He seemed like the sweetest guy on Earth, totally different than any other biker we ever knew and then he beat the shit out of me. Some kind of different, huh?" I was mad that a conversation had once again gone to Frankie and what he'd done to me. I'd been talking about him way too much lately.

"Let's not go there. You know how I feel about talking things up." She thought that if you talked about something you could make it happen. She'd been like that our whole lives. "Juice is NOT Frankie, ok?" She grabbed my hand to get my attention.

"Ok, ok. Juice is not Frankie." I nodded my head in agreement. I hoped with more of me than I knew that that was true.

"So, you wanna go shopping for something to wear to this party or what? I'm sure I don't have anything that I'll feel like wearing tonight." She waved Maggie over and asked for our check and took her wallet out of her purse.

"I guess that's cool. I know I don't have anything SAMCRO worthy in my closet. I can just tell Juice you'll take me to the grocery store after. He'll probably be disappointed I think he likes doing stuff like that with me." I rolled my eyes and took my phone out to call Juice.

I was really enjoying my girl time with Michaela and I hoped Juice didn't think I was ditching him. I figured if he had an issue with not being the one to run errands with me he'd get over it when I told him I was going to the party. We paid the bill and walked out into the sunshine of the day. I wasn't sure what I was going to buy to wear to the party but I knew it was going to have to be something good. I had to make a good impression at my first Sons of Anarchy party.

**A/N:** Sorry this chapter took so long, been going through some things. The next chapter will be coming soon behind this one! Please comment/review to let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!


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